How can “nesting” help my kids cope with our divorce?

Divorce is difficult on its own. Going through the process with children is even harder. Many parents are looking for ways to make divorce easier on children.

One way that many families are coping with divorce is to set up a “nesting” arrangement. Nesting helps children adjust to divorce, particularly at the beginning. According to Psychology Today, nesting keeps the children in one home while the parents cycle in and out like birds taking care of babies.

Why should we consider nesting?

Figuring out new living arrangements can be very stressful. Especially at the beginning of a divorce, you and your ex-spouse may not know what the future will look like. During this time, nesting allows you and your ex-spouse to have space from each other since you will not be in the family home at the same time.

Nesting also helps your children with consistency. They will stay in their old house and be in the same school district with their own friends while you and your ex-spouse are making plans. This will allow you to set up new living arrangements if necessary and not disturb the children while you are making these plans.

How long does nesting need to continue?

This depends on the needs of your family. Most of the time, nesting is a temporary arrangement. This is because most adults want to set up their own separate, permanent living situation.

However, if nesting works well for you and your family, you can have a nesting arrangement as long as you would like. In some cases, families continue nesting arrangements for years.